The Most Impressive Toilet Ever

Now that's a job well done.

Reality Checkpoint: The Stages of Studying

I have an exam in exactly one week.

7 - To balance out the low grade I got on the first test, I’m gonna study each day for just one hour. I can do this. Wait, Glee comes on tonight. I’ll push it to tomorrow. That’s still six whole days of good study right there.

6 – So tired. Nope, not happening.

5 – Pumpkin carving with the roomies! Heeyyy oohh!

4 – Okay, seriously. I need to study today. I’m gonna spend most of the day thinking about studying. No motivaish.

3 – Holy cow, have you been outside today?! Hammock. Subway. Bestie. Best Day Ever.

2 – Today, I got on StudyBlue.com and didn’t see one single study guide posted. Seriously? Dumb.

1 – Library. All night. Facebook. All night. Back to my apartment to lie down. I’ll get up around 4am to look at this.

5 mins – I’m so screwed.

(Just realized I wrote this as a girl. Talent, people.)

I support this.

I'm looking forward to getting one of these brown wristbands.

Reality Checkpoint: Classmate Conversations

Me: (sitting at library computer)

Dude: (walks by)

Me: What’s up, man?

Dude: Not much. What’s goin’ on, dude?

Me: I’m not 100% sure of your name, so I’ll call you man or dude or something like that for now.

Dude: Same here, man.

Me: The only thing we have in common is this one class so that’s probably what this whole conversation will be about.

Dude: Yeah, about that freaking class! It makes me want to kick a baby!

Me: Yeah, no joke, man. That teacher makes me cry at night.

Dude: How are we supposed to follow what she’s saying if all she does is tell stories and doesn’t even use PowerPoint?!

Me: For real, dude. This is the point in the conversation where I kinda tune you out and start to wonder when you’ll continue on your way so I can study the notes someone in class sent me.

Dude: Wait, you have notes? Would you mind sending me those? I’ll be sure to send you some when I get them from that girl I sit next to everyday that I kinda know through a mutual friend.

Me: Yeah, man, no problem. I’ll send them to you now, just let me finish thinking about how much of a huge slacker you are.

Dude: Thanks so much, bro. This professor is the Narnian Ice Queen. I hope to even snag a low ‘C’. That’s because I usually start studying the night before around 1am after I get back from Buffalo Wild Wings.

Me: I wouldn’t expect anything less, man.

Dude: Alright, I’m outta here. Gonna try to find a computer in this place so I can listen to my “Daughtry” Pandora station and scroll through several pages of awkwardfamilyphotos.com while people walk behind me who need a computer and get ticked I’m not actually working.

Me: Do work, man.

Dude: (proceeds to next computer where another acquaintance is stationed; similar conversation begins)

Me: (continues to chat on Facebook)

Lil Wayne Wisdom

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."

-Lil Wayne